Let’s turn up the serious dial for a second here. Lately, there have been several issues weighing on my mind. All brought about by a book trailer I recently watched. Now, I don’t usually like book trailers just because they tend to look amateurish and/or are really really boring but this one really struck a chord with me.
Let’s break it down.
0:03
Trailer takes place in a dark alley. There appears to be a source of light glowing from somewhere behind the camera. Is it a car? Is it a flashlight? Is it God? Whatever -it- is, it’s down right sizzling.
0:05
Scenes imply that men regularly use this alley as a dressing room. The questions begin. First: why? Second: WHY? Third: WHYYYY? Are the main characters in this book participating in some sort of clandestine street fighting tournament? Or perhaps the act of taking off one’s shirt in an alley is a post-modern commentary on consumerism?
0:07
Duty calls. Man needs to stop to tie his shoes. That’s what you call P-R-I-O-R-I-T-Y!
0:09
Nothing says “get the job done” like black leather gloves. My bet’s on this guy. He’s probably wearing a brass knuckle underneath all that leather. Tyra would love it. It’s downright fierce!
0:10
Rarely do book trailers inspire such profound questions such as: At what stage of disrobe does one end up wearing JUST a gun holster? My mind begins formulating several scenarios. Perhaps he was caught in the shower by big bad villains but managed to escape after grabbing his pants, his guns, and his sunglasses. Can’t forget those sunglasses. If I were in his place, I’d grab those too.
0:12
More philosophical questions: Why does one take off one’s shirt with such force? Is he angry? Is his shirt dirty? Is he on his way to a pool party? Plot Twist!! Big bad villains spilled flesh eating bacteria all over Hero’s nice clean shirt. Save yourself, Hero!! Your only chance is to rip your shirt off before you die. Oh noes. Will he make it in time?
0:13
Yes. Yes he makes it. Whew. Everyone is safe.
0:14
Sesame Street asks: Which one doesn’t belong? It’s a trick question. For advanced kids only.
0:24
O_o Hero is going to shoot off his toes. Perhaps he hates his boots? Perhaps he hates his feet? Is this how he lives for the thrill? But don’t lose sight of the goal, man! Don’t lose sight of the goal!
0:25
Disaster averted. Hero decides to keep toe. Now for the training montage! Nothing puts the bad in bad ass like push ups and triceps dips.
0:27
Hero learns that love is the riskiest game of all, dammit. And nothing says risk (or love) like tearing off more shirts.
0:31
Chafing scene. There’s always a chafing scene in romance novels. Or at least, there should be.
0:32
Call me. I love you. Call me.
0:45
By the way, I’m going to start a petition asking writers to start naming their hunky heroes after carbo-loaded foods. Example: Pasta MacIntosh, Spud Rivers, Jackson Waffle. I think us ladies would love to sink our teeth into a bit of that. Wouldn’t you? I know I’d totally read books with titles like “When You Pasta”, “Spud of Fever”, and “Waffle the Danger”.
Comments
Did you read the book then after that? The pictures kinda look like an advert for a deodorant advert!
@noob: That’s what’s so brilliant about the damn trailer. Now I HAVE to pick up the books to read it. I took a look at the author’s website afterwards and only book 1 is out. My rule is NEVER to read any series until they’re all out. I love to binge read. HAHAHA. (and I WISH my deodorant made me look so hot.)
Woah, 2 adverts there, sorry, I’m not properly awake yet!
@Noob: THAT’S the kind of mistake you make when you’re half asleep? I envy your writing prowess…
Good thing I wasn’t drinking anything or I may have spewed.
I ran across that trailer a few days ago and my eyes were riveted. Which was uncomfortable, but I dealt. I did find myself baffled, though in a more general sense. Still, I know MUST READ THOSE BOOKS.
Also you are awesome. And extremely funny.
That is all.
@Shea: Spewing would be awesome but bad for your computer. LOL. Btw, if you ever read those books, let me know! I’ve got all three books on my summer read list.
Great. Now I really want someone to write Waffle the Danger.
Might even try to write it, if only to read something with that title.
@Twy: Seriously right? I’d totally read a romance novel about Waffles… Maybe waffle chef meets fried chicken chef and love is the result.
That was awesome! I saw this linked from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books today.
Thanks for the laugh and I totally agree with your interpretation.
@Jess: Yeah. When I found out my favorite blog in the whole world linked to my blog, I nearly died. It was a good day. HAHA. Thanks for stopping by.
LOL!
@Kaetrin:
“Spud of Fever” just about made me die of laughter. This whole post is made of awesome.
@Katie: Hubby and I just went to a fast food restaurant called Hot Spuds. All hot potatoes. All the time. If Spud of Fever was real, I bet it would take place there. Ha!
LMAO!
@Misty:
tying your shoe is definitely a priority when duty calls. You wouldn’t want to trip over a shoe lace mid-shirtless run!
@Mel: That’s a great point. Then Hero will get scratches all over those perfectly chiseled abs. O_o and we wouldn’t want that, would we?